Catastrophizing is a common cognitive distortion in which a person often imagines unfavourable outcomes to life events.

The person might excessively worry that things would end in disaster, even if there is little reason to support that line of thinking.

This cognitive distortion is also known  as“magnifying,” because these thoughts magnify the severity of a situation.

Catastrophizing has two states:

One, which involves predicting a negative outcome, like thinking that your partner wants to leave you if they took a little longer to reply or is not in a good mood.

Secondly, jumping to the conclusion that if a negative outcome does occur, it would be a disaster or catastrophe.

For example, thinking if your partner did leave you, that you'll never find another partner or find love again.

LGBTQIA+ people commonly experience minority stress, which might exacerbate our tendency to catastrophize.

It is true that the society we live in might not always accept us. But even so, it doesn't mean that things will always tend out in an unfavourable way.

Coming out is one such example. We might worry about our loved ones rejecting us if we came out. For many of us, this is a very real concern. It's likely that not everybody will accept our queer identity.

We can never be sure of how others might react. Some might accept us with open hearts, while other others might reject us.

Despite this truth, it doesn't mean that coming out will necessarily end in disaster. We likely have some friends who can be there for us, even if others might reject us. There are communities and non-profits waiting to support us.

At the end of the day, coming out is a deeply personal decision. It should be done at our own pace and only when it is safe.

Here are some ways to reduce catastrophizing:

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• Develop an awareness of your triggers: Catastrophizing often follows a distinct thought pattern. For example, a person will start with a thought, such as “I feel lonely”, and then think “I’ve been on so many Grindr dates. I’ll never find love.”

• Practice decatastrophizing: Try writing down what you're worried about. Ask if it's likely that it will come true. If not, great! Also, try asking yourself what you would do if the worst does happen.

• Offer yourself alternative outcomes: Instead of thinking about a negative outcome, walk yourself through some other potential (positive) outcomes.

• Acknowledge that this is a negative thought pattern: Remind yourself that sometimes, a thought is just a thought. Not everything that comes to mind will come true. Are our thoughts triggered by our anxiety? (P.S. We have an upcoming Voda module on "Dealing with Anxiety")

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