Amongst gay and bi men, there can be huge pressures to look a certain way.

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We see it everyday on social media — whether it is that of a muscular gym-fit body, a skinny twink figure, or a larger-framed bear. There are a range of body expectations that queer men are pressured to follow.

1. When our body don't match these beauty norms, we can feel like we don't belong.

We might judge our own bodies. We might feel envy when we see toned male figures, or anxiety at the club or at the beach. Many of us also feel overlooked or even invisible because we don't fit those body norms.

2. These thoughts about our bodies can deeply affect our mental health.

This is often compounded by the fact that there are somethings that we can never change: like our height, our skin colour or our genetics.

At times, this can feel depressing and even hopeless.

3. Observing our inner self-talk is a difficult but crucial first step to building a healthier relationship with our body.

Observe how you speak to yourself. Do you speak harshly to the person in the mirror? Do you shame yourself when you miss a workout, or have a sweet treat? If so, why?

4. We can learn to be kind to ourselves, and accept the things that we can never change.

We cannot change our skin colour, our genetics, our height, how much fat our body naturally carries, or the amount of muscle we can naturally gain. We're also limited by our time and our money. And that's okay.

5. We can learn to focus our energy on the things that we can change: our thoughts and our actions.

We can learn to speak to ourselves with compassion, like we would to a loved one. And we can work towards things that we can change, be it new workouts or food, but approaching it with joy, and not self-judgment.

6. We can learn to accept our body for what it is, and learn to be grateful for what it does for us.

Our bodies breathe without us even thinking. Our hearts beat without being asked to, and the billions of cells within us are doing their thing to keep our system in balance. Everyone of us is a living marvel.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

– Antoine de Saint-Exupery

7. Above all, remember that we are more than our appearance.

Know that your self-worth goes beyond your physical shell:it's your empathy, your humour, your love for others, your intelligence, yourjoy.

“Accepting My Body” is one of the guided therapy programs available in our private beta.

Designed with leading psychotherapists, Voda combines mindfulness with cognitive behavioural therapy to develop digital therapy programs centred for the LGBTQIA+ community.

Gain early access at Voda.co.

Sapphic & trans versions of this program will be available soon on Voda.

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